Happy New Year!

Sure, I’m a little late to say that, I do apologize, but I truly hope you all have a great year!

Picture description for anyone who wants and/or needs it! This is a mostly orange picture with some clouds located in the bottom third of the image. The sun (which should be white because the sun is white, not yellow, yet the sun is yellow in the image) is located in the center of the image, both vertically and horizontally. This image was obtained from the free WordPress photo library.

Mindfulness and Well-being

Hello lovely readers! I know I don’t have a consistent post schedule, but that may change at some point. I have been working on self acceptance for a long time and I am at a point where I am comfortable to share my personal life with close friends such as my boyfriend. Oh yeah, I’ve got one of those! He’s terrific, and I am glad we’re not going super quickly. No, as I tell my cat MR.E on a nearly daily basis, patience gets the best rewards! It gets my cat a nibble of my food and it gets me a healthy relationship.

So the title of this post is Mindfulness and Well-being, I should explain. Prior to my current relationship, I was in a somewhat macabre one. I thought it would improve as time went on, but even after several breaks I gave the other individual involved to try to learn how to behave properly, they didn’t learn. I rushed into that relationship because I had very little self worth at the time (as well as throughout the relationship) and they surely didn’t help. They were isolating, rude to others, and verbally malicious towards everyone.

That relationship ended after I didn’t want a sugar wafer, see Thank you, stranger at Chili’s! for more information about that. I am still very grateful for that Good Samaritan being there.

I spent a month learning how to love myself afterwards. That was a tough time, but I learned that I deserve better. I learned how to express my needs—emotional, physical, psychological, all of them—to others. I learned about the red flags I should have noticed early. I learned about the green flags to notice that would make any connections I make going forward worthwhile. I learned about myself as well, more specifically what I can contribute to a relationship and how I can improve my weaker traits, nobody is perfect after all.

During the last month of that unhealthy relationship, I started perusing websites to make more friends, as the only person I was communicating with at the time was that individual I was in a relationship with and I was feeling lonely. That is when I come across Taylor. I was intrigued by this individual, but I had to go on a month long journey to discover my self worth, so I made a connection with him and told him I’d be back in a month. I don’t truly remember how I explained myself, but after the month, I returned and he was still interested in being friends. See JOY if you want to read more about him.

I was just as patient with him as he was with me, and now we are dating. This friendship was established with much stronger bastions than the previous, so I only see it progressing in a positive direction from here!

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day!


People like to be happy. I have found my version of happy. It involves nerdy things, nerdy people, and patience. A lot of patience.

I have asked the other nerd involved in my form of happy if I may identify them in this here blog, and I got the green light, his name is Taylor.

I met him online, and we started the relationship building process as friends. Looking back at past relationships I’ve had with friends and more-than-friends people, I have to admit this was a wise and mature decision. Taylor works in a library as a part time librarian, has a college degree, has a meek and charming personality, and plays games (these are just some of his features). I thought,
“This person appears fantastic, let’s see how these characteristics hold up in person.”
They absolutely hold up!

I’m getting off topic, let’s real it back in. My apologies. 

I am a nerd, if you didn’t know. If I had to be more specific, I am a book nerd. From what I’ve seen of Taylor, he’s a nerd as well. I believe Homo sapiens are a social species, so finding others who share similar qualities is beneficial. After meeting Taylor, I believe my living conditions have improved. If I merely think of him, I feel my body produces more dopamine!

I’m glad to have someone like him in my life. Life can be chaotic, so I appreciate his dependable support. It’s not a one way street though, and I provide support for him too. I’m excited for him to reach his goals and he’s just as thrilled for mine.


I am absolutely a morning person.

I have been like this for a long time, I say it’s because of how early I had to wake up for primary school/middle school/high school. Also college had early classes, and I have a Bachelor of Science degree in educational studies, so I had to relive the whole getting-up-early thing from primary school but this time I was in the teaching role so I had to get up even earlier.

I don’t know if that made me a morning person or not, but I truly enjoy it.

According to my research on a government website, I discovered that morning/evening people are likely predisposed from their genes. Also, studies have shown that this is a heritable trait. If y’all want to read the whole webpage, go to:


As I mentioned above, I’m absolutely a morning person, and although it can annoy those around me when I am ready to start the day at 07:00, I will let my body perform how it does best—in the morning! Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading.

I’ve got an itch to write something! Let’s see where it goes…

Hey hey hey beautiful readers, I have had writer’s block for a few months. I had an idea to write a space opera a week or so ago. I laid out the plot, main characters, the atmosphere—essentially a rough outline—and couldn’t find it in myself to actually write the thing.

That’s changed, my brain told me to go ahead and start writing today… so that’s my mission for the day! I probably won’t finish it today, but I’m excited to have a new idea AND the right mindset to write it.

I’m a writer at heart, so this ambitious writing project is just what I needed to get back in the writing groove. I’ll try to keep y’all updated about my progress, au revoir!

Do you want to help heal sick and injured kids in hospitals? I can tell you how!

Hello beautiful people, I participate in a charity that raises funds so that sick and injured kids can really feel like kids through positive hospital experiences at Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals (CMN hospitals ). It’s called Extra Life, and I can attest to experiences being positive at these CMN hospitals because I was at one after a traumatic event. I had a terrific experience, sure there was pain and tears, but I didn’t feel like a lesser person being in a hospital. That’s the point—I was a ten/eleven year old kid who felt like a kid.

If you want to help give children a better chance of having the best possible experience during hard times in hospitals, you can do just that by donating to Extra Life at https://www.extra-life.org/participant/be-graceful

Every dollar helps! Together we can #ChangeKidsHealth and change the future!

Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals® raise funds and awareness for 170 member hospitals that provide 32 million treatments each year to kids across the U.S. and Canada. Donations stay local to fund critical treatments and healthcare services, pediatric medical equipment and charitable care.


Support small businesses!

A small business I support is EmbraceTheWeird.design, go check it out and embrace your inner weirdo!

I have been buying weird merchandise from a small business located in California for a few years now; it’s called Embrace The Weird. You can check it out at embracetheweird.design to get your own weird stuff. This site has got practically everything a die hard weirdo can want- including awesome shirts, sculptures, drink coasters, hats, earrings, magnets, stickers, wall art, and more!

This is a small business that I come back to time and time again to check out what’s new. Recently, I purchased a new shirt for somebody’s birthday. I was flabbergasted when I saw the new design known as Sinus Cleanse! because it is a superbly weird unisex design that will make the recipient smile for sure.

Small businesses need support so that they can prosper. I support Embrace The Weird because I’m a certified weirdo who isn’t afraid to show it.

A birthday well spent

Today I turned 25, here’s some of the key points of the day for me. Enjoy reading!

Today is my 25th birthday. I feel that today was great. I’ll lay out some of the happenings.

  • My cat Mystery woke me up with his habitual morning meows. Maybe he meowed “happy birthday” in the mix, I wouldn’t know.
  • I ate my favorite type of muffin (blueberry) for breakfast.
  • My dad woke up very early (because he had to use the bathroom and didn’t want to go back to sleep for 30 minutes) and says “happy birthday”
  • Poppop Len texts me bright and early to say “happy birthday “
  • • • • • I realized now I’m going to forget a lot of little details because I’m suddenly feeling tired and will just mention big points in the day.
  • I opened a jewelry box and found a minimalistic necklace with two intwined circles. Also a very decorative card.
  • I went to a zoo to meet up with a friend. He bought our tickets in advance (nice birthday gift) so we just had to wait for his wifi to load a barcode.
  • We walked around the zoo and I learned his favorite animal is a capybara. It was very humid. We saw at least two groups of people on field trips.
  • Once I returned home I received an email from a username I was familiar with. My friend sent me a game on PC that we talked about playing when we met up in a library. I felt visible again.
  • My brother Noah gave me a flower that he 3D printed, and it was precisely the colors I asked for—metallic red petals and green stems.
  • My mom asked me about a gift I hadn’t opened, so I had more surprise to see. It was a cute pair of earrings that resemble safety puns (typo but I’m leaving it in because it sounds funny, I meant pins).
  • My mom made my favorite food for dinner (chicken curry) which I enjoyed thoroughly and will enjoy leftovers of for the next few days.
  • The icing on the cake—pun intended—was that I got chocolate cake to finish it off. I made two wishes because there was only 20 candles so five had to be relit.

I wasn’t expecting much for my birthday, so this was more than I expected. Cthulhu had scratched a > recently on my hand (and it’s still visible), so I don’t know what I should have expected.

Feeling needed

In my opinion, it is a good thing to be needed. Whether that need is a friend you can count on or being a warm pillow for a beloved cat to rest on, it feels good to be needed.

Fantastic I didn’t know reshaping the image would erase the captions so I’ll write them again. Don’t ask how I took this picture, it was magic. Featured in the image is Mystery the cat resting against my left foot and my left arm with a tattoo of a dog and a cat in the shape of a heart.

Happy Towel Day!

May 25th is Towel Day. I believe it’s to celebrate Douglas Adams’s book series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I am a hoopy frood who knows where her towel is!

A hand painted towel with the entirety of The Shoe Event Horizon inscribed on it with a simple shoe in the bottom right corner. The Shoe Event Horizon is from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.


Now that I have an anonymous person (I know who you are, but you wish to remain anonymous) no longer reading my blogs, i feel empowered. Hell, you probably won’t remain anonymous for long though. You are very narcissistic, you tried to comment on my advocacy post and thought you were involved in the church school discriminating debacle because you thought I had some grudge against you. I’m speaking to nothing, as the specific anonymous person isn’t reading this. I have the power to approve comments on this site, so I didn’t approve you. If you intend to get out of my life, why be such a coward and do it anonymously!? You destroyed our relationship because I didn’t want sugar wafers on the 25th of March. You probably ripped up the book I gave you with our initials hand folded too. Someone worked hard to craft that, harder than you ever worked on improving our relationship. I am very glad you have finally removed yourself from me completely, as you didn’t have a chance.

Not that any of my posts were ever addressed to this narcissistic anonymous person who thought I’ve been writing to them this whole time, but I will continue to address the general public. I needed this more than they would ever realize. I deleted the comment and deleted them from my life.

“Pictures taken instantaneously! I’m a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera… Ready… Say, ‘fuzzy pickles!’”

I assembled a Ness (from EarthBound) outfit! I’ve got the red baseball hat with a blue bill, the staple of the outfit being the blue and yellow wide striped tee shirt, and red tennis sneakers. I’m giving a peace sign too. EarthBound, also known as Mother 2, is a fantastic game and I thought it would be fun to get into character.


I am just trying to find work opportunities that clearly define what accommodations can be used, but it is rather difficult. I don’t want to rush into anything. So I’m changing my plans. I don’t want to work, I want to advocate. My life is very fluid so change is welcomed.

I want to advocate for individuals who have disabilities. I am disabled myself and I am finding it so hard to find productive activities to pass the time. I don’t have hobbies, nor do I have many friends, and I want to live on my own some day.

Rent is more expensive in the long term than buying a house, so I don’t plan to rent. Even if I inherited the wealth of a rich, late uncle (I don’t have a rich uncle and I wouldn’t be inheriting anything, this is just to make a point) money doesn’t last forever and house payments don’t wait. I would be evicted and back at square one.

So how does one avoid this? They make money! I’m a disabled person, which is very evident to see. The seeing part is how most of you sighted people judge people superficially unfortunately. Discrimination is a hard thing to deal with for anyone. It’s a true shame.

So… now that we’ve established that life as an adult—with or without disabilities—living in the United States of America is not free, how does someone get a job?

My first attempt at finding something to do was in October of 2020. It was recommended by my Nana that I try to get a job at her church working in the preschool. I thought that was a great idea, and I arranged an interview with the person who hires people. I don’t know if this person is a teacher. Either way, we have an in person meeting in her tiny office. I hand over my resume (I should have looked at it first because it wasn’t updated) and talk about teaching/coming up with lesson plans. I even showed a sample lesson plan I had made in college for preschoolers. Everything was looking good. Once I get back home I realized I gave an outdated resume and decided to email it. Once I get an email back, I read it and unfortunately didn’t get the job. But the reason I wasn’t hired, in her words, was,

“I fear that it may be very difficult for you to lift the children for diaper changes and sometimes our children, all ages, will run from us in the hallways or on the playground when it’s time to go inside. If that happens, it may be very difficult for you to chase after them…”

In the same email, it is noted that my resume definitely shows I’m a good candidate for the job. The reason I wasn’t hired was because the interviewer assumed I could not preform daily work tasks that I hadn’t even demonstrated in the interview. I was denied a job because I didn’t look like I could lift or chase a child. And unfortunately for the interviewer, her discrimination was through email, so I still have it.

I was discouraged from getting a job after realizing that some people hire based on looks alone. So I’ve been stuck ever since. I want to advocate for individuals with disabilities for many reasons, one definitely being so they don’t have to apply for jobs and be turned away because of their disabilities. First of all, it’s illegal to discriminate based on disabilities. I have no clue what gave the interviewer the idea that what she said was acceptable. The interview seemed fine, I wasn’t given the ability to demonstrate what I was being judged on. I want to teach people about how to talk to people with disabilities. My disabled ex boyfriend didn’t know how to talk to me right, and I think if the curricula becomes more inclusive, to disabled people, LGBTQIA+ people, to all the minorities… I think after a few generations people can be fearless of unjust judgement and discrimination.

Dare I reference Bill Nye? If the general curriculum in schools can adapt and become more inclusive, we can … dare I say it … change the world.

Happy kitty

My cat, Mystery, is napping on my bed. I joined him for a bit to snooze as well. He was resting his chin on my hand. Once I woke up to go to the bathroom I slowly moved my hand out from under his chin and noticed it was slightly wet. My kitty was drooling in his sleep. My primitive research showed that cats drooling in sleep is a sign of a good rest and a happy cat, similar to humans drooling while sleeping.

The Em Dash

How witty of me—I put an em dash in between em and dash in the url… I crack myself up sometimes(-:

In my final year of college, I took a creative writing class taught by Dr. F— I’m not providing his full name just in case he doesn’t want that. The class was a delightful break from all the teaching classes. I was getting a degree in Pre-K to 4th grade teaching and changed to Educational Studies two weeks into my final semester. It was my senior year and I wanted to take something fun. It challenged a part of my brain that needed the challenge. Dr. F, thank you for teaching!

I should get back to the point — the em dash point. Dr. F LOVES the em dash —and I love it too. I wanted to make a blog post about it so you can learn to love —. I’ll even show you how to type it! Are you ready? Let’s go!

The em dash is used in place of a hyphen – and/or parentheses ( ) and/or commas , . It’s a stylistic way to alter the writing.

So you want to know how to write an em dash? It essentially is a hyphen as long as a capital M — and if you want to type it just use two hyphens – – (without the spaces between the hyphens and the two words surrounding the em dash).

I hope you learned—or will learn—something new today!

A long death

My father’s parents are getting older. His dad, Poppop Len, is in an assisted living home due to old age and lack of mobility. He is 83 years old. I believe that Poppop Len has most of his faculties in check and I know his brain is still working, as he was making jokes and making my dad and I chuckle when we visited him in New York. I hope he’s enjoying his twilight years.

From left to right-Dad, Poppop Len, and me. We are all smiling.

My dad’s mom, known as Mommom to my brothers and I, is a different story. She is 84 years old. We also visited her. She is also in New York but at a different place. I didn’t recognize her when she was wheeled in the room. Both Poppop Len and Mommom have lived in New York ever since my aunt moved out there. My grandparents willingly moved to New York, little did they know how poor the retirement service are and my aunt isn’t really involved in their lives significantly anymore.

I gave Mommom some chocolate because she still has a sweet tooth. My mom had also been on this trip to New York, and I forgot to mention that she wasn’t allowed to see her father in law because of a strict two person visitation rule. She was allowed to give him a hug and then had to sit in the waiting room. Sorry, I will get back to the current point.

She explained why Mommom’s face was droopy, likely a result of a stroke. She is battling dementia. She was so quiet when we saw her.

I remember how she used to be before moving, very sure of herself. Her dark blonde hair used to be in a honeycomb style. Now it is wispy and white. Her brain is not completely gone, since she still showed a desire for candy. But she is slowly dying, and this fact hit me hard when we sat down with her. I felt guilty because she is wasting away in a different state and I could do nothing about it, I know it’s a part of life but I can’t be there for her. I was crying hard and said my allergies were bad to soothe Mommom’s worries in case she still had control over her emotions. I didn’t want her to think I was sad.

My dad was crying too. He rarely cries, so I knew he was sad. He apologized to me and said he wished he was able to let me see her before the disease got this bad. He must have felt guilty too. They lived so far away, so it was difficult to visit. It was not a practical thing to go visit my grandparents and cousins regularly.

Right before leaving, I did the one thing I thought about in the past. I wanted to tell loved ones “I love you” before they die. So, with tears in my eyes I said “I love you, Mommom” as did my dad and mom.

From left to right-Mommom, myself, and Dad. Both my dad and I have red eyes from tears.

Dementia is a cruel mistress that snatches people and kills them slowly. I wish more research could be done to help prevent or at least slow down the progression of it.

Here is my favorite book quote, hand painted on a towel!

It’s a long one! I got this from Etsy. More specifically CraftyRivers. The Shoe Event Horizon is from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I’m thrilled to know that I possess a towel of such quality. Every galactic hitchhiker should know where his or her towel is! Are you a hoopy frood?

Here’s the quote in text form; enjoy reading!

The Shoe Event Horizon is an economic theory that draws a correlation between the level of economic (and emotional) depression of a society and the number of shoe shops the society has.
The theory is summarized as such: as a society sinks into depression, the people of the society need to cheer themselves up by buying themselves gifts, often shoes. It is also linked to the fact that when you are depressed you look down at your shoes and decide they aren’t good enough quality so buy more expensive replacements. As more money is spent on shoes, more shoe shops are built, and the quality of the shoes begins to diminish as the demand for different types of shoes increases. This makes people buy more shoes.
The above turns into a vicious cycle, causing other industries to decline.
Eventually the titular Shoe Event Horizon is reached, where the only type of store economically viable to build is a shoe shop. At this point, society ceases to function, and the economy collapses, sending a world spiralling into ruin. In the case of Brontitall and Frogstar World B, the population forsook shoes and evolved into birds.

Monday is the best day of the week, I’m playing EarthBound

MONDAY is the best day of the week. It’s the beginning of the week, so you have the opportunity to plan out the week before the week goes by.

I like EarthBound. I didn’t know I liked it until a few weeks ago when I was watching some videos about the gameplay. It’s awesome! The Mr. Saturn characters are way out there (no duh, they’re from Saturn Valley) and definitely a favorite NPC of mine. I can relate most to Jeff Andonuts out of the playable characters. My vision is poor and I’m extremely nerdy. 😎

I’ve even considered cosplaying as Ness, but can’t find a blue and yellow striped tee shirt for women. Once I find that, I’ll look for the red and blue baseball cap and red sneakers. That tee shirt is a staple in the outfit, now where to look…

Food is good

I really enjoy eating plenty of foods. There are few foods I dislike (red meat, for example). I have discovered that my foolish April writing challenge is definitely foolish because I don’t always have good ideas to write about. So today, the second to last day of the challenge, I will write about food and try to get at least 200 words out.

Salty food is my favorite type of food. Eh, no I should talk about something more serious. In college I took a class called Hunger at our Fingertips that focused on food waste. That is a serious issue, it’s not just individuals tossing half of a sandwich, no, large companies and restaurants are tossing perfectly edible food when there are people dying from hunger. Nah… maybe that’s too serious of a topic… okay! I’ll revert to my initial topic as I am no expert on the food crisis, and I’m glad you reader(s) let me come to that conclusion.

I really can write about whatever I choose since my reading audience has not suggested what I should write about. This blog has places to go so don’t be thinking I’ll be silent after April ends. Sure I’ve written 200 words at this point, but that is kind of boring. I feel if I were to end this post like that, I’d be letting you readers down. I don’t know what you have come to expect from my writing, but I would still feel bad.

Food is good. It’s not easy for me to make food with my abysmal vision and short term memory loss, but it’s fun to eat. I can make a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich though so I’ve at least got that. I enjoy plenty of foOds and want to be able to connect with others about it, as I haven’t been able to connect with people for any other trait of mine in a way that has lasted to this day. I am very lonely and sad. This isn’t supposed to be about my depression though. I love food and want to meet others who love food.

This is blog post 29 of 30 in my April writing challenge. What foods do you like and dislike? I know not many people comment on these posts, so at least think about your answer. Buuut if you do want to comment I promise you clicking reply won’t bite you.

StarTalk Live is tonight!

I am very excited about it. I’ve got on a Planetary Society shirt and a twirl skirt that has the rings of Saturn on it. I am a nerd of many calibres, including space and extraterrestrial exploration.

StarTalk Radio is a podcast that is hosted by astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History Neil deGrasse Tyson and features many guests. It brings science and comedy together in a brilliant way.

This event was pushed back due to the coronavirus, but it’s still happening. I am very glad my dad didn’t get a refund way back when it was originally canceled. Thank you, Dad!

This is blog post 28 of 30 in my April writing challenge. Keep Looking Up!

Attack of the wiggle butts!

Today, Mom and I took the corgis out for a walk. Yep, I said the w word. Nemo and Squirt know what that word means, and it makes them excited whenever someone says walk. That’s why people have to say “the w word” in my house instead of walk. Nemo especially gets really excited and then really sad when the word slips out and he doesn’t get to go outside. I remember my one childhood dog, Sasha, reacted the same way whenever she saw someone take out her leash. Sasha had bad hearing, so the word walk didn’t mean much to her, yet she knew the sit command.

Both doggies did their business in the yards of some neighbors and we obviously bagged up the business. While passing by a trash can to dispose of the doggy bags, we saw a house for sale. We decided to check it out. The back yard was mostly fenced in and the house appeared to have been renovated from what we could see through the windows. I made a mental note to look the house up when we got home as I didn’t have my phone on me to take a picture.

Nemo kicked up neatly cut grass in a few yards while we were out walking. It was amusing because he didn’t do it on every lawn, but the two he tried on were freshly cut. Squirt was panting the whole way and tried to go home to several houses that weren’t ours. We encountered another dog being walked on the opposite street at one point, to which Nemo became very excited to meet, but we didn’t want to cross in the middle of the street only to return shortly after to the original after the doggies sniffed butts and then depart. So we stood ground holding the leashes taught as the other person and their dog walked away.

The community water bowl for the cats and the dogs had a little water, but Mom filled it up with cold water when we returned home. The walk was a little more than a mile long.

After researching the house for sale, we learned it has way more bedrooms and bathrooms than I think I would ever use. Additionally, it is out of my current price range. It was worth a try to look.

This is blog post 27 of 30 in my April writing challenge. Going on walks is more fun with company, including the company of two little fluffy corgis.

April 26 is Get Organized Day

I cleaned up.

I cleaned up my room slightly today. I currently have a bedroom that works for children four years and under, but I have two decades more than that so it’s a very tight squeeze. In other words, I have acquired quite a few more belongings than a four year old would if only because I’ve had more time to gather belongings.

April 26 is Get Organized Day, so me clearing up some space in my room so my brother can hang up a shelf had more than one purpose. If my closet had a higher clothesline, it would have been way easier. Plus I wouldn’t have had a bunch of sweatshirts on my floor. I had to clean up though— so the sweatshirts are now in the pile in my closet. Cthulhu was sleeping not in R’lyeh, but instead under a blanket on my bed while I was cleaning up. He even purred at some points, not that that’s surprising because he seems to be purring almost always. He kept me company.

I also put away dishes, so I can say I’ve successfully observed Get Organized Day!

This is blog post 26 of 30 in my April writing challenge. There are only 4 more days left in the challenge. I plan to keep writing on the blog, but posts may not be as frequent. Enjoy reading!

Can you decipher thIs Morse Code?

…. . .-.. .-.. — / .-.. — …- . .-.. -.– / .-. . .- -.. . .-. … / .. ..-. / -.– — ..- / -.-. .- -. / -.. . -.-. — -.. . / – …. .. … / –. .. …- . / -.– — ..- .-. … . .-.. ..-. / .- / .–. .- – / — -. / – …. . / -… .- -.-. -.- / -.– — ..- / .- .-. . / .. — .–. — .-. – .- -. – / .- -. -.. / .–. .-.. .- -.– / .- / …- .- .-.. ..- .- -… .-.. . / .-. — .-.. . / .. -. / .-.. .. ..-. . / …. .- …- . / .- / -… .-. .. .-.. .-.. .. .- -. – / -.. .- -.– / – …. .. … / .. … / .–. — … – / ..— ….. / — ..-. / …– —– / .. -. / — -.– / .- .–. .-. .. .-.. / .– .-. .. – .. -. –. / -.-. …. .- .-.. .-.. . -. –. . / — — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. . / -.. .- -.– / .. … / -. — – / ..- -. – .. .-.. / .- .–. .-. .. .-.. / ..— –… / -… ..- – / .. / .– .- -. – . -.. / – — / –. . – / .- / …. . .- -.. / … – .- .-. – / – — / … . . / …. — .– / -.– — ..- / .-. . .- -.. . .-. … / .-. . .- -.-. – / .. ..-. / -.– — ..- / …. .- …- . / –. — – – . -. / – — / – …. .. … / .–. — .. -. – –..– / .-.. . .- …- . / .- / -.-. — — — . -. – / – …. .- – / … .- -.– … / — — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. . / …. .- …- . / .- / .– — -. -.. . .-. ..-. ..- .-.. / -.. .- -.–

This is the audio for the Morse Code!

This is post 25 of 30 in my April writing challenge. Morse code day is not until April 27 but I wanted to get a head start to see how you readers react. Enjoy!

I wrote another poem today

I tried to write a poem in iambic pentameter. How did I do?

So April 23rd is Talk Like Shakespeare Day. I think this is because that is either the day William Shakespeare was born, died, or both. I wrote a poem trying my darnedest to write in iambic pentameter, which good ol’ Willy was known for. I used an unusual rhyme scheme. I looked up the bubble sheet answers for the PSAT and used the correct answers to distinguish between different rhymes. Unfortunately I cannot locate the source I used for this, so I have no clue what year it is from. The rhyme scheme goes like this—



So on and so forth

So here’s my poem!

Look Up Before it’s too Late

All is well on the planet
Not this planet, good heavens no
Good fortune is not only found within sugary confections
Look up, or remain bêtise

The knowledge in society must grow
As it is known that humanity can be an infection
Ready, set, go
Look up, or pay the price

Sugar, spice, and everything nice
Enters reality’s imperfections
Without judgement à la a martinet
Look up, or lose all connections

Ensuring protections
As fellow Earthlings cachinnate
Home sweet home becomes a flambeau
Look up, destroy your vice

This is blog post 23 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Have a wonderful day, and remember your kindness does not go unnoticed!

There are 77 days until 7/7

Hello readers! I like numbers, and different ways they can combine. One way this works is that 14:20 (the precise time right now) can combine 1+4+2+0=7 and that made this particular moment in time the correct time to write this post. I’m a nerd, what did you expect? Numbers can be added, subtracted, multiplied, divided, and a whole slew of things. Here’s a fun challenge for you, how does 1+2=4?

Okay math isn’t for everyone, and the enjoyment you get from solving things may vary from mine, but math is everywhere whether you like it or not.

This is blog post 21 of 30 in the April writing challenge. It could just as well be called the 77th. How? Hahaha I am just joshing with you, but if you can justify this being post 77 of 30, go ahead! Knowledge is power!

Squirt had his nails cut today…

And he only yelped once. With patience, dog kibble, and affirmative words, my mom was able to trim her one corgi’s nails with Riley’s assistance. It took about a half hour to complete. I have great respect for dog groomers, it takes a certain kind of person to do it successfully.

Okay, okay, this isn’t the most elaborate post. I’m trying to be the only person to occupy my own brain as usual, but it gets lonely. Not lonely in my head (I think so much in my own head it would be overwhelming for additional thoughts to carry out simultaneously), I just don’t have a great deal of friends to do things with so I get bored of just thinking. It’s a double edged sword I guess— I don’t have friends so I have a harder time socializing with others to make friendships. It is pretty sad when I put it in words. I feel isolated.

This is blog post 20 of 30 in my April writing challenge. I hope your friendships are healthier than mine. Also I give major props to pet groomers who deal with cutting nails. Do not declaw animals.

A few things to note…

  • I am wearing pajamas today because it’s Wear Pajamas to Work Day. Sure, I don’t currently have to go into an office or anything, but I’m rocking a onesie/jumpsuit that is blue, has penguins all over, and a hood today because I can.
  • I want to finish writing a short story today. I’m at the point where I am just finding descriptions for artwork I want my artist brother to create, but I’ve been putting it off because I either forget about it or just don’t have the energy. It’s a novella I started writing in my senior year of high school and didn’t work on it again until my senior year of college… but I think it’s a good short read. It’s a lot like James Patterson’s Maximum Ride series with similar elements to Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.
  • Mystery was meowing a bunch this morning. I solved his dilemma by letting him hang out with the sleeping corgis. I think it annoyed my awake dad more than my sleeping mom.
  • This next topic is a tad more serious. I have seen a bunch of videos about people who have legitimate disabilities reacting to videos of people faking disabilities. The reason? I can only assume it’s for more views. In this instance I will refer to the people faking disabilities as fades for simplicity and in hope that this trend will fade out. I don’t understand why anyone would voluntarily be disabled. It can be very isolating for those who have them. With fades treating disabilities like a joke, I hope you can piece together how incredibly disgusted actually disabled people feel. It needs to stop.
  • I want to create a new holiday. March 25 is going to be Vanilla Wafers Day.

This is post 19 of 30 in my April writing challenge. I’m currently figuring out how to officially make a holiday, so stay tuned!

Happy birthday Noah!

Today is my youngest brother Noah’s 21st birthday. Happy birthday bro.

Today is also piñata day, so he’s probably going to get a piñata.

In other news, I want to write blog posts you readers actually want to read. I don’t have a baby, so I haven’t developed any mind reading abilities yet. I mean I can’t read your brilliant minds. You can make suggestions for future entries, in fact, I would greatly appreciate it if you offered some topics. Y’all can let me know requested topics through comments on any posts.

I’m okay writing about almost any topic, whether it relates to me, doesn’t relate to me, and even fictional topics. I am a writer, but I don’t always know what to write about. The sky is the limit!

This is blog post 18 of 30 for the April writing challenge. Happy birthday Noah! I’m up for writing suggestions!

I’m thinking about thinking and all that entails

Right up front, I should say that I am not thinking about schema. That’s a nifty word I learned from Reading and Language Arts, a class in college that taught about how children develop reading skills.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to explain myself. I am constantly thinking. Except for when my body goes into auto pilot mode, as in when I have something to do physically such as washing dishes or shopping. Sometimes the auto pilot turns off during these instances, which is a bummer because I just want to exist sometimes. I don’t engage in all too many of these situations anymore because I have very little to do. So it’s mostly thinking.

I don’t want to be a robot, I think I’ve discovered why Marvin the paranoid android (from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams) was always so depressed. He knew everything and didn’t have the capability to change what was going to happen. I am well aware that Marvin is a fictional character from a fictional book, but I can definitely relate.

I get in these thought loops that are infinite. And they vary significantly. An example would start like this:

I know what happens in this video game already, so why am I playing it?
How do I know?
Do I really have to reach back in my brain to find out?
Why am I pestering myself to think about it?
Why can’t I just play the silly game?
I know why— it was put here so I can amuse myself
Why do I want to amuse myself?
Stop thinking about it! Stop it stop it!
But why am I trying to get myself to stop?

So on and so forth. It doesn’t stop.

Maybe I should save this post for a different day, it is Easter and Haiku Poetry day after all. Hmmm… I’ve-a got it! I will still post this today, I will add a silly haiku to it! I don’t want it to be about my thought process though… it can be about gardens. Bingo! Here’s a haiku poem about gardens:

A pretty flower
Is in a lovely garden
Let nature sing with glory

This is blog post 17 of 30 ing my April writing challenge. This information may relate to you readers, and if it doesn’t relate to you please share it with others who can find the people I’m trying to reach with this specific blog post. AKA people who think too much.

I am learning how to optimize my blog for both mobile and computer use

My medication has a side effect of making me hyper focus on things. It’s usually whatever I start the day with, which is usually watching videos or sometimes playing games. Today I started with editing this site… and here we are now.

I added social links to the site, changed the theme for better access on mobile devices, made commenting easier, added an additional posting site for my new blogs, and even enabled a tip page (you can find it by selecting the blog drop down menu). The tip page still needs more tweaking, but it’s a start. I am learning how to socialize and how to be more socially available.

As my goal for the day was to update this site, my creative juices have run out for the day.

Just kidding! Here’s a haiku:

What words can be said
Weakest leaders stay silent
They are all cowards

This is blog post 16 of 30. Tomorrow is Easter and International Haiku Poetry Day. I just got a head start with the haikus 🙂

Intelligence vs ignorance

Woof. This might be a long one if my brain decides to work today to come up with logical thoughts. Aphasia is the middle person and I don’t know how to remove it.

So I got to thinking about what I find attractive. My ex boyfriend was intelligent enough to keep mooching his parents out of money to send him to I think three different colleges that he dropped out of (and I do believe he is still doing it now) buuuuut that is not quite the intelligence I want to associate myself with. You see, that’s just manipulation when it comes down to it. Intelligence has both positive and negative forms— my ex demonstrates the negative.

I’m attracted to intelligence. I looked it up, and it’s called sapiosexuality. My phone doesn’t recognize that as a word, but it is. That’s not the point of this blog post though. The point is that I educated myself about it and am not ignorant anymore. I’m a nerd, I love to learn things. Space, science, mathematics, literature, it’s all good. I want to help the ignorant people who don’t accept any normal that doesn’t confine to their version of normal.

Please do your research when you don’t understand something. Please don’t accept any guff from others without trying to get your opinion heard. The world is becoming a more accepting place, but there are still people choosing to remain ignorant either by choice or by force. Do not starve others of knowledge. Learn more and then make informed decisions. There, I’ve expressed my feelings with the world. Make good use of it.

This is blog post 15 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Remember, you can choose ignorance or intelligence for yourself, the choice will affect you in the end.

Look at this wonderful Easter decoration!

There’s a pink lady gnome on the left, a mysterious gnome in the middle, and a teal/flowery gnome on the ledge. Under the ledge is a chair with a mustard yellow and gray blanket (left) and a tea table with a white tree that has Easter eggs as leaves.

I present to you a decorative scene. I have also described the scene in words in the caption of the picture if visuals are difficult. In the scene, I noticed a new decoration sitting besides the two gnomes. It’s a mystery gnome that looks strikingly similar to my corgi Nemo. OKAY he’s my mom’s corgi I can’t claim him as my own, yet. Hahaha.

April 14 is Look Up at the Sky day. This is what I see—

It looks like it’s going to rain.

I’m sorry folks! I’ve got to go play with the sassy mystery gnome named Nemo! He’s grunting and wagging his tail to indicate that he wants to play.

This is blog post 14 of 30 of my April writing challenge. I hope y’all have great days and find your own mystery gnomes!

Soapbox Kitty

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Hey there! I thought I wrote this already today on here, but it dawned on me that I had merely thought about writing it, not actually carrying out the process.

My cat, you know him, you love him, he’s Mystery. He was oh so talkative this morning! There was a meow meow here and quite a few more meows to boot. I checked the water bowl, the food bowl, and any other possible reason for his meowing, but all was in fair order. His meows weren’t distressed or anything. I gathered that he was meowing just for the sake of it. He is known for that at times.

So, I assume Mystery was getting on an imaginary soapbox and meowing to the world about his wildest dreams. And I also assume his wildest dream is to have an infinite supply of cheddar cheese ready for consumption whenever he wants. Squirt May be very heavily driven by food, but I’ve actually woken my cat up just by taking cheese out of the refrigerator. That says something.

This is blog post 13 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Listen to your pets, even when they just want you to lend an ear.

Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?

That’s the question— do you? Today is Grilled Cheese Sandwich day, so why not indulge?

I have had a stance on how to pronounce SANDWICH for a while back in high school. I am that kind of nerd who wanted to make a graph comparing the way people pronounce that word to different factors such as age or occupation, but never got around to it because of whatever reason. I hear people say “samwich” as well as “sandwich” with the latter being way less common despite no m being present in the word. My father occasionally pronounces it “samich” and irking my brain. I’m not shaming him, nor am I shaming anyone who says samwich, but when elementary school teachers even pronounce it like that I think it’s time to change the spelling of the word.

It has happened before and it can happen again. Let’s make a connexion with the pronunciation of the word sandwich today (connection used to be spelled with an x), and change the spelling to samwich!

This is blog post 12 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Enjoy a cheese samwich today!

Happy national pet day!

It’s National Pet Day! Show your pets some extra love today, I showed my cat some and you should too.

April 11 is national pet day.

I know I’ve already celebrated my pets on April 2nd, but extra love shouldn’t hurt! And besides, April 2 was love our children day so this counts separately! Love your pets, folks! They have short lives so love them while you can! My brother Riley lost one of his rats (Jojo) somewhat recently to old age, so remember they are waiting for the extra love today! It’s like Valentine’s Day but exclusively for our pets!

Even if they aren’t waiting for extra love, surprise them anyways! I gave my kitty Mystery a bit of cheese from my cheese sandwich this morning to show him my love. He’s kind of a big fan of cheddar cheese so I like to spoil him every now and then with a tiny bit!

Love your pets!

This is blog post 11 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Enjoy reading and give your fuzzy friend (or any equivalent pet) an extra scratch behind the ear today!

This is Nemo the corgi husky mix looking rather smug. Don’t worry, after I took this picture he turned his head sideways and kind of plopped it down. He is a pet so he gets extra love today.

This is Mystery the adopted black cat. It’s a shame his other family had to surrender such a relaxed cat. Sure it takes him a while to get to like other animals, but isn’t it just like that with people too? You don’t automatically trust strangers, I’m assuming. Mystery (AKA MR.E) is a pet so he deserves some extra love today.

These are two pets at my house, but there are plenty more.
There’s another dog, another cat, and even a rat.
They all should be appreciated just a little extra today

So sleepy…

I woke up this morning to feed my kitties as I normally do, got dressed, and then went back to sleep until 16:30 today. I didn’t fall asleep until late last night (around 1:00 this morning) and I slept like a baby.

Around 12 pm today, Mystery joined me. Sorry I’ll finish writing after I give Nemo some play time with yellow bally. Squirt joined in with rainbow bally. Okay— back to the point. Yes, yes. Mystery slept at my side until about 16:00. I guess he was sleepy too.

My mom calls up to me around 16:30 saying I won’t be able to sleep tonight because “it’s 4:30” as she said. I got up shortly after to face the ugly world to try and make someone smile. That’s a daily goal of mine, you should try to do it too. My dad made me smile when he said he got more cough drops and I made my mom smile when I gave her an Easter gnome. I call that success. I haven’t seen my brothers much today.

This is a picture of the springtime Easter gnome I bought for my family. Gnomes are sure to make people smile. The gnome in the picture has a long white beard, a peach nose, and a turquoise hat with two flowers on it.

This is post 10 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Enjoy your day, and try to make someone smile today!

Girl’s night!

This is what I look like. I’m going out on the town for my brother’s girlfriend’s 21st birthday tonight and I think I look quite fine.

Today is my brother’s girlfriend’s 21st birthday. Her name is Ambert (she goes by Amber). I still don’t have my voice all the way back, but I feel fine enough to go get dinner and gamble a little. I will take her picture after she finishes getting her hair did. Both Amber and I are independent women who don’t need no man’s approval! We are both beautiful women (me 24 and her 21 today) and looking pretty just makes us feel good! Whoot whoot!

This is the birthday girl Amber. She is 21 years old today.

This is blog post 9 of 30 of my April writing challenge. Eat your heart out ex boyfriend!

What is one of the best parts of my mom’s chicken curry?

THERE IS ALWAYS LEFTOVERS!!! More yum for additional days! My voice is very much shot and gone, but I’m still speaking. Whenever I lose my voice nowadays I think about the one time in high school when I lost my voice. The main problem with that day was that I had to give a spoken presentation in a history class. The teacher agreed with me that I could present another day so I didn’t have to wheeze and cough my way through a presentation sounding like a preteen boy with a constantly cracking voice.

This is a plate of leftover tikka masala chicken curry. There is more food on the plate than I can eat in one sitting, but I ate most of it! And thanks blue dinosaur in the top right corner for intruding into the photo. I still don’t like the forced portrait orientation for photos.

Yes, I’m still sick. It’s the start of week two for my foolish writing challenge. I was destined to lose my voice, as it was very shaky yesterday. My coughing apparently kept my mom awake much of the night, and I must say soarry (a Canadian sorry) to her for that. I said soarry after typing that 🙂 She already doesn’t sleep well enough and I decreased her restful sleep to three hours last night. I’m soarry, but I didn’t sleep great either.

This is post 8 of 30 for my April writing challenge. Even though my voice is shot vocally, it is still present in my written word. Enjoy reading!

Do you ever have those days…

Do you ever have those days where you are feeling sick and achy? Those days when you didn’t sleep too great the night before? I’m having one of those days. I said I would post every day of the month, and I don’t want to fail on that in the first week. I’m starting to understand why people don’t write every day on their blogs. Creativity doesn’t strike every day and it takes a good deal of effort to get something out there. You live and learn.

So what creative endeavor will I pursue today? I can write about my favorite food (which my mom is currently making in the kitchen). My tastebuds do not handle spice hardly at all, but my favorite food is my mom’s version of chicken curry. It’s not super spicy as she has sensitive tastebuds to spices too.

One time in college I was talking to my roommate Edna about it. I wanted to get the recipe for her special curry but when I asked for it before my mom wouldn’t give it to me for whatever reason. So Edna came up with a brilliant idea— I should ask for the recipe but it’s for a friend.

My mom gave me the recipe finally, score! I gave it to Edna as well to make it easier to understand. I don’t know if she ever used the recipe, but now I was set. I texted my mom and said she isn’t much of a cook but she was interested in the recipe once I described it. I honestly don’t remember if she actually was interested as it was 2018 and we lost connection after college (2020).

Now I should describe the chicken curry… I’ll write this part after eating it. It should be done in about a half hour. My mom said it is a tikka masala instead of the mango chutney version of chicken curry. I prefer mango chutney chicken curry because it’s less spicy, but I’m still a fan!

In my opinion, this counts as a laid back, easier topic post. I had vanilla pudding after dinner, which soothed out the spices. The spices weren’t intense, I just cannot handle it well. This is post 7 of 30 of my foolish writing challenge. I’ve discovered just how foolish this may be!

Cthulhu licking his own tail

I really don’t like how all the photos and videos I post on this site are forced into portrait mode. This video was not taken in portrait mode. I’m not feeling too great today, so this will have to count as my post for the day. ¡Lo siento! This is post 6 of 30. Enjoy the goofy cat!

Hey everyone! I changed my website a bit.

Hello hello! You lovely readers may have noticed advertisements on my website in the past. I enabled them thinking I could get a couple cents here and there. It was indeed advertised to do such a thing. However, once checking out my revenue for displaying ads showed me I was allowing advertisements on my site for free. I haven’t made a single penny for it.

In light of the new knowledge I have, I decided to pause advertisements on my site. This also pauses any revenue (but pausing $0.00 revenue shouldn’t really affect my actions). So enjoy reading my writing with fewer distractions on my end. If any companies want to advertise on my blog, they will have to go about it in a different manner. I’m not going to let you advertise on my website for free.

This is post 5 of 30 of my foolIsh April Writing Challenge. You may say this doesn’t count as a blog post…my challenge, my rules.


I am whelmed by just enough. Here’s a poem to make you think. Side note- did you know thinking burns calories? It doesn’t burn many but it’s something.

It is best to wait
Wait for me
I will let you experience all I have to offer
I have to offer you the keys
The keys to the castle
The castle is in my head

I’ve lost my muse in the castle
Would you be a dear, and help me find it?
The castle has many untidy rooms
As well as a few perfectly clean ones
And… then there’s the locked door
It is a void, I do not dare even knock
I advise you do the same

There is a tremendous war occurring just outside the castle
It influences the ruler from time to time
Be en guarde

They are always watching
Always judging
Regardless of what you do

Pick up your head my dear
You will not be stuck forever
It is I
And only I
Who cannot leave
I will remain here
To rule the castle
And avoid it’s destruction

I don’t know what to name that poem. Do I go with something pithy or keep it simple? It’s a light description of how my head functions when I am not preoccupied by anything. Or maybe it’s just what my brain wants to make you think. Perhaps it’s a mixture of both. This is post 4 of 30 for my foolish writing challenge. And, I realize some may think I’m writing these in advance but that is not true. It’s a daily effort. Enjoy reading, and remember to be a nice person.

Stay hydrated!

I know it can be hard to remember sometimes, but our bodies need water! Drinks water has plenty of benefits such as waking you up, clearing up your beautiful face, cooling you down, and most importantly keeping you alive! People have different water intake needs depending on weight and activity level, so don’t overdo it. This is blog post 3/30. I’m a tenth of the way done!

April 2nd is USA National Love Our Children Day!

April 2nd is a day full of holidays. I cannot celebrate National Reconciliation Day, but I can celebrate National Love Our Children Day in a creative way!

The second of April has a few holidays, and I feel like celebrating Love Our Children day. It’s also National Reconciliation Day… but that ship has sailed (sorry the man, you’re on your own now). I’m a fan of peanut butter and jelly, and what do you know— it’s ALSO national Peanut Butter and Jelly Day!

So you may be wondering how I intend to celebrate Love Our Children Day with no human children to love. I adopted a sweet kitty around 12 years ago and I think cats count as children too! So I will pamper my kitty today, and sure why not pamper ALL the fur babies in my house!? Who’s stopping me? Sure, National Pet Day is on April 11, but that just gives me another excuse to spoil my pets!

Mystery (my kitty) is sleeping on my foot as I write this:

A black cat named Mystery is resting on my foot and snoring.

I will play “get the laser” and “rainbow string monster” with him (the other cat will likely join in) and give the cats special treats. This counts as love in my book, so I will have celebrated the holiday successfully! Love your children!

Happy April!

Hey y’all! I’m planning on posting EVERY DAY in April! Is it foolish? Sure!

April 1st is April Fools day, and I want to challenge myself to write at least one post each day in April. No joke— I want to further develop my writing skills. These posts will likely be shorter in length than what you may be used to me writing, as they will be more consistently posted/I will have less time to review so shorter works better. I may be a fool for pursuing such a task, but I need a proper project to focus on. This is post 1 of 30. Enjoy!

Help hold me accountable for my foolish writing challenge!

Here’s my opinion…

This may be controversial, I don’t know, but you have been warned!

So it turns out people are making money from the war between Russia and Ukraine. Why? And who cares about money when so many people are being affected negatively? I didn’t want to write this, but writing is the best way for me to express myself fully and cope with things i.e. read my last post here:

I am very disturbed by this. In my opinion, and possibly the opinions of many others, profiting from war is immoral. I don’t understand how or why people are benefiting from this from the side lines when they aren’t even participating in the war itself. It’s sickening to think there are people who willingly accept their profits from such an event—and I know they’re out there.

The war seemed to be started for selfish reasons and people who profile off the war are selfish too. People shouldn’t be greedily collecting money while so many innocent lives are becoming refugees and/or dying to save their country. It’s insane. And immoral.

So I had to do some research to discover how exactly profits from war work. So I went on gov owned websites to find out. From several government websites, I have discovered war profiteering is illegal, as it should be, but that didn’t answer my search query exactly. So I dug a little deeper. Gas prices are high, but why? The USA is not limited to only Russia for oil imports, and believe it or not, domestic production of oil is not affected by the war. I’ve found a collection of people who benefit from the war, and it’s for selfish reasons. Companies are getting richer and richer by not investing in efforts to help with increasing domestic supply. That is gross. And it should be illegal. The president is charging fees from companies that have extra supply that isn’t being used. Hopefully this changes the selfish minds of people somewhat. [1]

There are other individuals still profiting from the war in other ways but I cannot find reliable sources for this. Also I apologize for any odd coding with this post, I was trying to use coding to link to a reference. I don’t think it turned out right. I’ve been fiddling with it for a few hours and I will post it as is. I’m still learning coding language so please be easy on me!

[1] https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/03/31/fact-sheet-president-bidens-plan-to-respond-to-putins-price-hike-at-the-pump/

Thank you, stranger at Chili’s!

Thank you, stranger at Chili’s for pointing out the red flag I’ve been ignoring in my relationship. I now know that the man I was with had been rude throughout the majority of the relationship and have ended it. I was excusing his behavior because I thought it was a part of his disability, but now I strongly believe disabilities do not give people the right to be rude with zero consequences. I will be referring to my ex as the man mostly through the post.

The stranger had asked me while the man was in the bathroom if I was okay. He didn’t work there, he was being a Good Samaritan and had overheard the man speaking very loudly and continuously interrupting me. I told the stranger that I was used to that treatment because I believed that behavior was a result of his disability. I told the stranger everything was okay and he walked away hesitantly.

When the man returned from the bathroom I must have had a strange look on my face, as he asked, “what’s wrong?” I told him I would tell him in the car (I didn’t tell him the reason until we left the restaurant because I didn’t know how he would react, and in hindsight I’m glad I waited) He asked if he had done something wrong and I nodded. He changed his tone of voice to the higher pitch he characteristically uses when in disbelief of the situation he’s in and questioned me some more, but I kept saying that I would tell him in the car.

After I paid for the meal (I told him beforehand that I was treating him to dinner), we left to go back to his parents’ house. In his parent’s car I told him about the kind stranger. He blew it off like it was nothing (because this happened all the time and this stranger was the first person to mention that it seemed odd and impolite). I told him that he was being rude and he still pushed it off. He has apologized for the way he talks to me in the past, but it’s not a true apology unless one makes an effort to change, and this has been a constant struggle.

We finally get to the house and greet his parents and his puppy. He originally didn’t want to go out to eat with me because he didn’t want to leave his dog alone. His dog wasn’t going to be alone, and he knew that. His reasoning is that he has sole responsibility of the dog and doesn’t think that his family members would care to let him outside. He has never owned a pet before, so he is still learning that people aren’t heartless enough to ignore a dog whimpering to go outside. Granted, it takes a little extra energy to put the dog’s leash on as they are not allowed to have a fenced in yard, but seriously. None of his family members said there was any issues with the dog once we got back.

Back to the point, back to the situation. we went to the basement to watch some television and snuggle. He had been having issues with the gas prices being high so we made a deal that if he took me home that night, I would take a ride to his house the next day. He told his parents that I wasn’t able to get a ride as an excuse to be able to spend more time with me because we hadn’t seen each other for more than a week. I’m still upset that I have to compromise on transportation due to gas prices, am I really not worth paying a little extra at the pump? I guess not. We had been arguing about this in the past too.

Before leaving, the man sees vanilla wafers on the countertop in the kitchen. He became very excited about it, and I gathered from the tone of his mother’s voice that he wasn’t supposed to eat them. He got some anyways. His mom brings up a story about how he used to hide food in his mattress as a child. There was laughter and smiles. She said she found a cow rib once and didn’t know how long it had been there, and that caused more chuckling between all of us. The man asked me if I wanted a vanilla wafer, to which I declined and told him his mom didn’t offer so no thank you. Yes that was a little passive aggressive, I take fault there. She chuckled and the man and I left soon after.

The ride back to my parents house was pretty uneventful. We talked about what we were going to do the next day. He seemed happy. He kissed me goodbye and left.

The next day started out fine. I sent him a text in binary code and he replied with a bunch of happy face emojis. Roughly an hour later, he messages me and complained that I was being rude and disrespectful to his mom the day before (yes he was referring to the passive aggressive comment) and said I crossed the line. I don’t feel it necessary to describe the entire conversation. I mentioned he had no issues with me the night before and that I feared someone else was influencing his emotions.

His mother appeared to have some issues with me throughout the relationship. She was kind to my face and talked to the man about me behind my back. I only know this because the man told me about a few instances shortly after they happened. She would make baseless claims about my disabilities and would scoff about what little she knew to be true, such as me having insomnia. After the first few times the man reported it to me, I wanted to get my story straight with his mom so she would be less ignorant about the man’s love. I was over for dinner one night and I explained all of my “ailments” with her. She has a disability herself so I thought she would understand. Unfortunately this didn’t change her predetermined and biased view of me. She would continue to make snide comments about me to the man behind my back. That kind of behavior is childish. She obviously doesn’t want to give me a chance, but that was mostly okay because I wasn’t in a relationship with her. I say mostly because the man has a toxic and codependent relationship with her. She made me cry before because of how callous her behavior towards me was. Please, be polite to everyone. I’m a human, not a punching bag. I broke down one night because of him relaying her comments over the phone. I forgot about it because I wasn’t dating her but her son didn’t seem to ever stick up for me and tell her to stop.

I message him that our relationship isn’t working. I didn’t understand how I was being rude to his mom when declining the wafers. I think she got into his head and finally got him to hate me. He is known for the large number of things he hates, and I’m in that collection now. I couldn’t deal with his mom influencing him so much. He messaged me today, trying to insult me by saying I’m immature. I let him know his insults don’t work on me anymore to which he responds with “It’s not insulting. It’s the truth.” I questioned how long he planned on staying with an immature woman but then gave up hope. He won’t change easily. He didn’t receive any help for his disability as a child and it’s affecting his life very negatively. I told him to congratulate his mom as she finally won her son back and disabilities do not give anyone the right to be a**holes. He needs to grow up and get help.

So once again, thank you, stranger at Chili’s, for helping me realize that my relationship was not working. I have been dating the man for roughly three years, I was still in college and he dropped out of college for maybe the third or fourth time at the end of senior year. He is using his parents money to keep dropping out, and doesn’t understand college isn’t for everyone. If he wants to keep wasting his parents’ money so he doesn’t have to act like an adult and grow up, I have no influence on him or his parents decisions. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you, you probably didn’t tell your mom I said congratulations but that’s just fine. Also you probably won’t read this entire post because you didn’t like reading my long text messages. Buh bye!

Mind the Kids

I present to you readers a Blitz poem that I wrote to cope with some recent events… enjoy reading!

Here’s a Blitz poem for y’all! I like to consider myself a poet sometimes so here we go.

Read my lips
Read my mind
Mind is deep
Mind over matter
Matter exists
Matter of time
Time to live
Time to die
Die quickly
Die with grace
Grace cannot save you
Grace is what I deserve
Deserve good treatment
Deserve the best
Best wishes to you
Best of luck
Luck is what you want
Luck is what you do not get
Get your head straight
Get a grip
Grip on tight
Grip your new fate
Fate is twisted
Fate is out of my control
Control your emotions

Control the future
Future is bleak
Future starts now
Now face the facts
Now time is up
Up in flames
Up the middle
Middle of June
Middle of my journey
Journey to the Northeast
Journey to my heart
Heart is sad
Heart is broken
Broken to pieces
Broken bones
Bones are weak
Bones need brains
Brains should know right from wrong
Brains need time to heal
Heal the wounds
Heal the kids
Kids please change the world
Kids please change the future

Potential lap dog ready for hire!

This is Squirt. He’s a corgi with tan and white fur. He doesn’t have opposable thumbs so he is submitting his resume as this picture and allowing me to describe his qualifications for the job. He is a young dog so his resume can only grow from here!

Squirt is a lovable dog who is strongly motivated by food. When asked to comment on the matter, Squirt said “Berf.”

In regards to his education, Squirt has not officially attended any classes on obedience, which may sound bad to some, but he is naturally obedient. He saved his owners money by not attending obedience school.

Squirt Grace is applying for the role of lap dog. As shown in the picture, he is well equipped to perform lap dog duties. His communication skills are top notch, and his work schedule is flexible.

In defense of “monkey butt” bread…

I’m talking about the end pieces, the parts that cafeterias toss out and/or are the last pieces of bread in the bag. It’s called many things, but my family in particular calls those pieces monkey butt bread.

I know many people don’t want to eat this bread, but why not? Sure, it may not be as soft as the rest, yet I’ve certainly heard it said that the end pieces aren’t even real bread. What happens if a whole loaf becomes stale? Then all the pieces are not soft. I don’t get the hate on monkey butt bread.

I want to promote the consumption of monkey butt bread. It’s being wasted and has been disregarded for far too long.

Two pieces of bread, on the left is an end piece and on the right is a middle piece from the same loaf.

Why did I get a college degree? The reason may shock you.

So yes, I’m a college graduate with a BS in education. I am the first person in my family history to graduate college too, which is awesome for future generations. But why did I want to get a degree? The reason may shock you.

My mom always told me and my younger brothers that we were going to go to college. It wasn’t a free ride though as my parents didn’t have oodles of extra money to send us to college. In other words, I had to take out loans and apply for scholarships to pay for it. Yes it was expensive but I think it was worth it.

I went to two different colleges and graduated from the second one. It is called Cabrini University. The education taught there was way less stressful and I decided to get a degree for myself instead of doing it just because my parents wanted me to. Doing it for myself felt more gratifying.

I should back up quite a bit though, my reason started in May of 2009 when I was eleven years old. I was in an almost fatal car accident while trying to show a new friend around town. I wanted her to move to my town so I could see her more often and I guess I wanted to familiarize her with the town in case she moved there. Thank goodness she wasn’t also hit by the distracted driver of a Ford F-150, thank goodness. I don’t talk to her anymore, but she is often in my thoughts.

I was tossed over 50 feet upon impact. We were crossing the street on a crosswalk that is very close to a fire station, so I got help quickly. I was airlifted to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. My parents were notified at some point.

The prognosis I was given was very bleak. I was in a semiconscious vegetative state for a good deal of my stay. I suffered multiple broken bones, a traumatic brain injury, and additional vision loss on top of already being visually impaired at birth. The doctors told my parents that I would never walk, talk, or be able to function independently. At some point I wasn’t vegetative anymore and I insisted on walking out of the hospital to prove the doctors and statistics wrong, which I did.

I apologize for not going too in depth about the accident, but that is only the context for my reasoning. Now that that’s out of the way, I will get to the point. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a child, but I decided against it when thinking realistically (I don’t want to preform a life or death operation wrong on someone’s beloved pet) so I went to college for educational studies. I did it if only to prove the doctors wrong yet again and defy statistics. Is that a good reason to get a college degree? That is up to your interpretation. I graduated from Cabrini University in 2020, and I betrayed the statistical outcome.

Sweetdiculous! I’ve updated my website!

I’ve updated my website and made it easier to find.

I updated my website to a .com web address! I believe the .blog web address will still work, but it should be easier for people to find the site now.

Side note- sweetdiculous HAS to be a real word by this point. It means so awesomely sweet that it is ridiculous.

My dad bought my mom a lemon

So my mom has been saying for a long time that she wants a new car. My dad finally gets around to buying a new used car, and it breaks down the next day.

Dad didn’t test drive the car for whatever reason. This issue may have been avoided if he had, but that ship has sailed. My mom wanted to go on a test drive today, as she had a few errands to run and wanted to try it out. She invited me because I wanted to go buy a larger env to mail some documents. We drop my one brother, Riley, off at a friend’s house and try to drive to a store for the errands, but the car made a strange beep and Mom pulled over. The fun begins.

Some lights came on and the car displayed a harrowing message, “Stop Safely Vehicle Will Shut Off Soon” so Mom did as instructed and calls Dad to explain the situation. He tells her to try to drive home and that he would call the dealer about the problem. Sometime after this as Mom is trying to drive home, the main display panel which controlled the radio and such operations winked out. Mom asked me a bit later if she did that or did the car do It, I said it was the car. I said, “you bought a lemon,” and she corrected me with, “no, your dad bought me a lemon.” The car showed the harrowing display again. Mom moved to the side of the road as the car died.

Mom called for a tow truck and called my other younger brother, Noah, to come pick us up. The tow truck was scheduled to come in 45 minutes. So Mom and I had some time to just sit and think/talk. Mom said, “I should have worn my sweatshirt,” as she only had a tee shirt, black pants, and sneakers on. I say we could talk about what to have for dinner while we wait. The car had blinking lights that kept fading out. However the speedometer was flickering to different speeds even though the car was on the side of the road stalling and dying.

Noah comes by with my dad’s car, and we stand outside for a bit before entering the running car to escape the cold. Noah tried to jump the dead car, but to no avail. He said the battery was likely the problem.

The tow truck came and talked to Mom some before very quickly towed the lemon to the dealer. Mom then drove to a donut shop to get coffee and donuts. Unfortunately the donut shop was out of donuts.

What’s the point?

So why do I write? I write for many silly reasons but I also want to create a community of well educated people who are able to look past others’ differences. Cancel culture is becoming too powerful and I feel that some of the issues that still exist are being pushed aside. Disabilities exist— news flash— just in case you forgot. Disability isn’t a bad word, but so many people take it as such.

I am disabled. I’ve got a few disabilities as a matter of fact, and I’m not afraid about them. You shouldn’t be either. Communication is key, if you want to know why my eyes shake or I have a limp, or if you have questions about anyone’s disabilities, just ask! I get it, you may have been told not to stare at people who look a little different, but you most likely weren’t told to ignore them. If you were, I’m sorry that you’ve missed out on a connection.

I’m here to help start a change so that disabled individuals (or individuals with disabilities if you only use person first language) can be fearless of ignorance, let’s educate the general public about disabilities together! It has to start somewhere and I’m going to help fuel change.

Take me to your lizard!

Today I had my hair dyed purple (again) and thought I accidentally turned my eyes purple as I was rinsing out the hair dye in the shower. The title connects to the story I promise. As I was washing the purple out, I repeatedly got some in my eyes, luckily my eyes aren’t purple anymore! Afterwards I had my hair cut a decent amount. My mom wanted to put curlers in my hair, it’s an experiment I guess. I look like an alien with these! So I said “take me to your lizard!” Like any respectable alien would say. I’m going to try to keep them in over night, but we’ll see!