Hello lovely readers! I know I don’t have a consistent post schedule, but that may change at some point. I have been working on self acceptance for a long time and I am at a point where I am comfortable to share my personal life with close friends such as my boyfriend. Oh yeah, I’ve got one of those! He’s terrific, and I am glad we’re not going super quickly. No, as I tell my cat MR.E on a nearly daily basis, patience gets the best rewards! It gets my cat a nibble of my food and it gets me a healthy relationship.
So the title of this post is Mindfulness and Well-being, I should explain. Prior to my current relationship, I was in a somewhat macabre one. I thought it would improve as time went on, but even after several breaks I gave the other individual involved to try to learn how to behave properly, they didn’t learn. I rushed into that relationship because I had very little self worth at the time (as well as throughout the relationship) and they surely didn’t help. They were isolating, rude to others, and verbally malicious towards everyone.
That relationship ended after I didn’t want a sugar wafer, see Thank you, stranger at Chili’s! for more information about that. I am still very grateful for that Good Samaritan being there.
I spent a month learning how to love myself afterwards. That was a tough time, but I learned that I deserve better. I learned how to express my needs—emotional, physical, psychological, all of them—to others. I learned about the red flags I should have noticed early. I learned about the green flags to notice that would make any connections I make going forward worthwhile. I learned about myself as well, more specifically what I can contribute to a relationship and how I can improve my weaker traits, nobody is perfect after all.
During the last month of that unhealthy relationship, I started perusing websites to make more friends, as the only person I was communicating with at the time was that individual I was in a relationship with and I was feeling lonely. That is when I come across Taylor. I was intrigued by this individual, but I had to go on a month long journey to discover my self worth, so I made a connection with him and told him I’d be back in a month. I don’t truly remember how I explained myself, but after the month, I returned and he was still interested in being friends. See JOY if you want to read more about him.
I was just as patient with him as he was with me, and now we are dating. This friendship was established with much stronger bastions than the previous, so I only see it progressing in a positive direction from here!
Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day!
Category: let’s talk about disabilities
Do you want to help heal sick and injured kids in hospitals? I can tell you how!
Hello beautiful people, I participate in a charity that raises funds so that sick and injured kids can really feel like kids through positive hospital experiences at Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals (CMN hospitals ). It’s called Extra Life, and I can attest to experiences being positive at these CMN hospitals because I was at one after a traumatic event. I had a terrific experience, sure there was pain and tears, but I didn’t feel like a lesser person being in a hospital. That’s the point—I was a ten/eleven year old kid who felt like a kid.
If you want to help give children a better chance of having the best possible experience during hard times in hospitals, you can do just that by donating to Extra Life at https://www.extra-life.org/participant/be-graceful
Every dollar helps! Together we can #ChangeKidsHealth and change the future!
Now that I have an anonymous person (I know who you are, but you wish to remain anonymous) no longer reading my blogs, i feel empowered. Hell, you probably won’t remain anonymous for long though. You are very narcissistic, you tried to comment on my advocacy post and thought you were involved in the church school discriminating debacle because you thought I had some grudge against you. I’m speaking to nothing, as the specific anonymous person isn’t reading this. I have the power to approve comments on this site, so I didn’t approve you. If you intend to get out of my life, why be such a coward and do it anonymously!? You destroyed our relationship because I didn’t want sugar wafers on the 25th of March. You probably ripped up the book I gave you with our initials hand folded too. Someone worked hard to craft that, harder than you ever worked on improving our relationship. I am very glad you have finally removed yourself from me completely, as you didn’t have a chance.
Not that any of my posts were ever addressed to this narcissistic anonymous person who thought I’ve been writing to them this whole time, but I will continue to address the general public. I needed this more than they would ever realize. I deleted the comment and deleted them from my life.
ADVOCACY FOR INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITIES
I am just trying to find work opportunities that clearly define what accommodations can be used, but it is rather difficult. I don’t want to rush into anything. So I’m changing my plans. I don’t want to work, I want to advocate. My life is very fluid so change is welcomed.
I want to advocate for individuals who have disabilities. I am disabled myself and I am finding it so hard to find productive activities to pass the time. I don’t have hobbies, nor do I have many friends, and I want to live on my own some day.
Rent is more expensive in the long term than buying a house, so I don’t plan to rent. Even if I inherited the wealth of a rich, late uncle (I don’t have a rich uncle and I wouldn’t be inheriting anything, this is just to make a point) money doesn’t last forever and house payments don’t wait. I would be evicted and back at square one.
So how does one avoid this? They make money! I’m a disabled person, which is very evident to see. The seeing part is how most of you sighted people judge people superficially unfortunately. Discrimination is a hard thing to deal with for anyone. It’s a true shame.
So… now that we’ve established that life as an adult—with or without disabilities—living in the United States of America is not free, how does someone get a job?
My first attempt at finding something to do was in October of 2020. It was recommended by my Nana that I try to get a job at her church working in the preschool. I thought that was a great idea, and I arranged an interview with the person who hires people. I don’t know if this person is a teacher. Either way, we have an in person meeting in her tiny office. I hand over my resume (I should have looked at it first because it wasn’t updated) and talk about teaching/coming up with lesson plans. I even showed a sample lesson plan I had made in college for preschoolers. Everything was looking good. Once I get back home I realized I gave an outdated resume and decided to email it. Once I get an email back, I read it and unfortunately didn’t get the job. But the reason I wasn’t hired, in her words, was,
“I fear that it may be very difficult for you to lift the children for diaper changes and sometimes our children, all ages, will run from us in the hallways or on the playground when it’s time to go inside. If that happens, it may be very difficult for you to chase after them…”
In the same email, it is noted that my resume definitely shows I’m a good candidate for the job. The reason I wasn’t hired was because the interviewer assumed I could not preform daily work tasks that I hadn’t even demonstrated in the interview. I was denied a job because I didn’t look like I could lift or chase a child. And unfortunately for the interviewer, her discrimination was through email, so I still have it.
I was discouraged from getting a job after realizing that some people hire based on looks alone. So I’ve been stuck ever since. I want to advocate for individuals with disabilities for many reasons, one definitely being so they don’t have to apply for jobs and be turned away because of their disabilities. First of all, it’s illegal to discriminate based on disabilities. I have no clue what gave the interviewer the idea that what she said was acceptable. The interview seemed fine, I wasn’t given the ability to demonstrate what I was being judged on. I want to teach people about how to talk to people with disabilities. My disabled ex boyfriend didn’t know how to talk to me right, and I think if the curricula becomes more inclusive, to disabled people, LGBTQIA+ people, to all the minorities… I think after a few generations people can be fearless of unjust judgement and discrimination.
Dare I reference Bill Nye? If the general curriculum in schools can adapt and become more inclusive, we can … dare I say it … change the world.
Why did I get a college degree? The reason may shock you.
So yes, I’m a college graduate with a BS in education. I am the first person in my family history to graduate college too, which is awesome for future generations. But why did I want to get a degree? The reason may shock you.
My mom always told me and my younger brothers that we were going to go to college. It wasn’t a free ride though as my parents didn’t have oodles of extra money to send us to college. In other words, I had to take out loans and apply for scholarships to pay for it. Yes it was expensive but I think it was worth it.
I went to two different colleges and graduated from the second one. It is called Cabrini University. The education taught there was way less stressful and I decided to get a degree for myself instead of doing it just because my parents wanted me to. Doing it for myself felt more gratifying.
I should back up quite a bit though, my reason started in May of 2009 when I was eleven years old. I was in an almost fatal car accident while trying to show a new friend around town. I wanted her to move to my town so I could see her more often and I guess I wanted to familiarize her with the town in case she moved there. Thank goodness she wasn’t also hit by the distracted driver of a Ford F-150, thank goodness. I don’t talk to her anymore, but she is often in my thoughts.
I was tossed over 50 feet upon impact. We were crossing the street on a crosswalk that is very close to a fire station, so I got help quickly. I was airlifted to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. My parents were notified at some point.
The prognosis I was given was very bleak. I was in a semiconscious vegetative state for a good deal of my stay. I suffered multiple broken bones, a traumatic brain injury, and additional vision loss on top of already being visually impaired at birth. The doctors told my parents that I would never walk, talk, or be able to function independently. At some point I wasn’t vegetative anymore and I insisted on walking out of the hospital to prove the doctors and statistics wrong, which I did.
I apologize for not going too in depth about the accident, but that is only the context for my reasoning. Now that that’s out of the way, I will get to the point. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a child, but I decided against it when thinking realistically (I don’t want to preform a life or death operation wrong on someone’s beloved pet) so I went to college for educational studies. I did it if only to prove the doctors wrong yet again and defy statistics. Is that a good reason to get a college degree? That is up to your interpretation. I graduated from Cabrini University in 2020, and I betrayed the statistical outcome.
What’s the point?
So why do I write? I write for many silly reasons but I also want to create a community of well educated people who are able to look past others’ differences. Cancel culture is becoming too powerful and I feel that some of the issues that still exist are being pushed aside. Disabilities exist— news flash— just in case you forgot. Disability isn’t a bad word, but so many people take it as such.
I am disabled. I’ve got a few disabilities as a matter of fact, and I’m not afraid about them. You shouldn’t be either. Communication is key, if you want to know why my eyes shake or I have a limp, or if you have questions about anyone’s disabilities, just ask! I get it, you may have been told not to stare at people who look a little different, but you most likely weren’t told to ignore them. If you were, I’m sorry that you’ve missed out on a connection.
I’m here to help start a change so that disabled individuals (or individuals with disabilities if you only use person first language) can be fearless of ignorance, let’s educate the general public about disabilities together! It has to start somewhere and I’m going to help fuel change.